School Days of Ouran Lives
by xxxCastielsWingBonerxxx
Summary: Makoto Itou gets suspended and goes to Ouran! Rated M for sexual content and language.


One day, Makoto Itou was doing his studies, when suddenly he got suspended for no real reason. We'll just say it was because of him piledriving the Colonel Sanders statue with his penis.

Anyway so Makoto is suspended. So he now has to go to a new school! He decided to break in to the big fancy pastel place down the road, and snuck into an old music room to read a book, when suddenly he was sent to the Gay Realm!

"Welcome... to the Ouran High School Host Club." Tamaki said as he held out a rose.  
"The, uhm, what?" Makoto asked.  
"It's a place where we woo girls and make money." Kyoya stated bluntly.

Makoto liked this idea. A place where he could pick up chicks and be PAID FOR IT!? It was every H-game protagonists dream come true!

"Can I be in your club, please!?" Makoto begged. Kyoya said sure cause we need average looking douchebags in here.

Then the customers came in! Many many ladies there were! A group of them approached Makoto.

"Who da fuck is this?" The rich ladies asked  
"My name is Makoto Itou. I beat up bullies and cheat on my girlfriend and make her cry." Makoto replied.  
The ladies then tore his pants off at the speed of sound. At least two of them tried to suck his fireman at the same time.

Tamaki noticed the growing orgy going on over by Makoto and ran over there in his usual hammy fashion "HEY! YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH THE CLIENTS! WHAT ABOUT THE PRESERVATION OF SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE!?" but he ran smack into one of the wominz and fell over.

Haruhi slid over as Ouran characters do. "Uhhh senpai, what's up with the orgy?"

Makoto stared. He instantly knew Haruhi was a girl. He also knew he instantly had to tap dat ass. He shoved all the girls off of him and got up, panty-penetrator right in Haruhi's face.

"Miss... please allow me to shove my dick in your vagina." Makoto asked respectfully.  
"Lemme think." Haruhi paused. "No."

He sighed dramatically and went back to his own orgy. Meanwhile the walking twincest came over.

"What's going on here, Hikaru?" said tweedle dum "I dunno Kaworu. An orgy." said tweedle dee. And then the tweedles leapt into the orgy, because even horny twins need to get it on with someone other than themselves. By this point Makoto's johnshon was under intense stress, like 10 people were trying to fuck him all at once, 8 women and 2 horny twins.

"Ladies, twins, please! We can form an orderly line to have sex with me!" He shouted over the madness. Tamaki was not gonna have this so he shot up like someone had shoved a hot poker up his anus.

"NO! NO ORGIES ARE HAPPENING IN /MY/ HOST CLUB!" Tamaki screamed like mad!  
"Oh, okay. We'll move to out in the back behind the dumpster then." And then all the women and the tweedles took Makoto away. Tamaki sighed dramatically and threw himself out a window, most likely dying on impact with the ground.

"Kyoya-sempai, is it just me, or are things around here even weirder than usual?" Haruhi asked. Suddenly, someone cartwheeled through the window hole! IT WAS TOMARU SAWAGOE!

Since both Kyoya and Haruhi recognized him, they had the most appropriate response;  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kyoya threw his laptop in Tomaru's face to slow the beast down before running for dear life, with Haruhi right behind him. They both darted down the halls screaming like mad that an H-game antagonist was in the school.

Meanwhile by the dumpset, Makoto was banging and being banged by the Hitachiin tweedles while the other girls put their clothes back on. Makoto's dick was so strong half of the girls melted.

Tamaki's zombified corpse went walking over to the dumpster, since he was a zombie now. The moaning turned Makoto on so hard he nearly turned into a rock. He shoved the tweedles off of him and pointed at the zombie host king.

"I am going to shove my johnson in that zombie anus!" He jumped on Tamaki and started trying to get the super expensive uniform off of him. Tamaki just moaned because he is a zombie.

Meanwhile Kyoya and Haruhi came bounding out of the school like a pair of wild buffalo on stampede. It was too late to save Mori and Honey (who were probably already being banged by Tomaru) but it was not too late for the twins.

"Sempai!" Haruhi gasped when she saw her zombified sempai being attacked by Makoto's weiner, which really, all the sex he's been having should've killed Makoto by now.

Kyoya tore Makoto off of Tamaki and looked him right in his douchebag brown eyes. "I suggest you get off of my fucking school property before I fuck your H-game ass up with my megane sized wonder boner. GOT IT?"

But it was too late! Tomaru came out of the school, and his dick was still strong, even after having sex with the entire student body and filling them with pregnancy. But then Ayumu fell from the sky! And Shun! And Kuu! Not Tomomasa because he's faithful to his sister-wife! And all of them had full metal boners!

"COME MY BROTHERS, LET'S FUCK OUR DAD _UP_!" Makoto shouted as he jumped up and they all attacked Tomaru with their super boner rocks!

Kyoya quickly grabbed Haruhi, the twins, and Tamaki, and they all ran inside to get away from the H-game madness. He got them all inside and assessed the damge; Tamaki was dead, the twins were still orgasming, Mori and Honey were pregnant, and Haruhi was still poor.

"Well, this does not look good." Kyoya mumbled. "Looks like Mori and Honey need maternity leave, that's going to cost more, and Tamaki can't work at all..."

"KYOYA-SEMAPI, TAMAKI-SEMPAI IS _DEAD_ AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS MONEY?!" Haruhi shouted.

"Yep." Kyoya said bluntly. Then he propped Tamaki's corpse up in his throne to bring the customers back. "Looks fine to me."

Six months later...

All of the pregnant girls went to visit the Host Club, to see what was up. When they got there, seeing the rotten corpse of the king, two pregnant guys, the twins still orgasming, and Haruhi and Kyoya being the only two left unscathed, they all left.

And that is the story of how Makoto Itou got the Host Club shut down.

With nothing left to do, Kyoya and Haruhi left the school to join a swim team down the road... but then a black haired kuudere popped out of the water and boldly murmured.

"I only swim free."


End file.
